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i have days that i jus sit and reflect for hours and hours on end. This is one of those days...
theres only one person in the world who understands this and they prolly will nevr see this but if they do i hope they can realize how sorry i am...
x This goes out to you x
stuck in a pit
drowning in a pool
hated the world
didnt go to school
lived a new life
but had to pay the price
didnt kno drugs and alcohol
almost cost me my life
but i had survived
soley from your stife
your endless endevors
gave me new light
you still dont kno
how much u mean to me
to u and only you
i owe everything
so i hope in 20 years
youll still remember my name
for surely ill still remember yours
its implanted in my brain
i never hated you
jealousy got at me
sharing you with someone else
was not appealing to me
remember the poems
well this is my last
all my anguish is leaving me
for its in the past
u kno wut i still think of you
time to time
no matter how hard i try
it jus doesnt erase from my mind
This is what im trying to say
i kno i dont talk to u ne more
i kno this is random
i kno u prolly hate me
i kno that in a few months ill nevr c u again
but i want u to know
in my eyes
ur one of the greatest people i ever met
ever in the near future, maybe 5 years from now
10, 20, wutever
wen ur in a bind
wen u got no one by your side
jus find me and ill be there
no questions asked
because thats the least i can do for you
thanks for putting my life in the rite direction
~_Entry END_~ |
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I sometimes think that another fuckin year of high school is gonna end up destroying everything
. sometimes peple jus need to grow up .
--including myself--
sometimes i wish that i could jus drop er thing and er body
((cept andrew of course))
but i cant
cause no matter how bad things are or how much drama there is
my buddies mean so much to me
::Thank u::
*thank you
...for introducing me to the people who have changed my life
...for opening my eyes to a different world
...for bringing out the rebel in me early
...for always being there for me
...for showing me what a relationship really is
...for showing me jus how to mess around
...for showing me that people can never indirectly hate each other
...for showing me a good time
...for showing that everything in life counts
...for showing me what not to be
...for making my life feel important
...for showing me that not everyone will always like u
...for showing me that crushes never last
...for proving that true friendships can overcome barriers
...for making me believe that one individual can mean the world to you
...for changing my life forever
.s.c.c.o.o.s.s.k.m.o.f.s.a.s.m.a.a
xx You figure it out xx
ur finally home andy!!!!!
.E to the M I E.My moood!:  contemplative My beatz: Fall to pieces- Avril Lavigne |
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First off i just want to say that im kewl wit er body except the stupid bitch sam...
secondly... people need to really think b4 runnin their fuckin mouth. fuckin u all were fuckin retarded for automatically assuming that kim and kristi for leavin the fuckin message. were all trying to grow up and fuckin leave all the bad shyt alone and u all just love to bring it up again. fuckin dumbasses. u all brought it upon urselves. u all really need to grow the fuck up. god damn...
wutever...
on a good note, im goin to the sox game tonite.
.Woot.Woot.
.I.MISS.U.SOOO.MUCH.ANDY.
Come home soon
so yea thas really all i have to say
.The wonderful Emily say hi.My moood!:  amused My beatz: Mr. Brightside |
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Notice her.
Smell her hair.
Pick her up.
Pretend you're going to throw her in the pool...
she'll scream and fight you but secretly,
she'll love it.
Hold her hand while you talk.
Hold her hand while you drive.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
Protect her.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Tease her, let her tease you back.
Stay up with her when shes sick.
Kiss her forehead.
Let her wear your clothes.
Go slow.
Dont push anything.
Kiss her in the rain.
And if you fall in love with her,
don't break her heart.
I.miss.u.andy
<3 EmiE <3My moood!:  calm |
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so this weekend has been mega crazy...
that last entry was me jus goin through another stupid epsiode again...
my gosh...
andys gone for two weeks which doest realy seem that long but these last two days has been hell without him. andy i just wish u were here rite now. i no i sound soo stupid but i miss him soo god damn much. and in lyk 6 weeks hes leavin for college and i dont kno wut in hell im gonna do with myself. but newayz yea...
so i officially decided that im stupid and hypocritical because yea... long story... if u kno me then u would understand... so yea ne wayz...
o... yes... the good side of er thing is that im workin er day for the next two weeks... no joke... i needed sumtin to consume my time so i dont make ne more bad decisions...
so yes its pretty kewl cause im practically workin three jobs but really two of them r basically the same so im realy only wurkin two
tues thurs sat- i wurk wit my dad
mon tues wed sat- i wurk down at dupage and home shit
thurs fri- i wurk at chicago party rental
and im makin mad cash too its so pimp- im gettin paid 13 for the airplane parts shit and wit my dad im makin 11 and at chicago im only makin 7 but its an easy job so yea. take that bitches. lol
well yes
i g2g
off to work
I.miss.u.andy
.ilu.chicas
.EmiE. |
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I wuld rather hav 1oo br0k3n b0n3s, than 1 br0k3n heart...
i jus need sumtim to now think about if this is all worth it... if ur smiles r worth my tears... i jus dont kno wut to say ne more...
~*~
There's not much going on today.
I'm really bored, it's getting late.
What happened to my Saturday?
Monday's here, the day I hate.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
This is when I start to bite my nails.
And clean my room when all else fails.
I think it's time for me to bail.
This point of view is getting stale.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
Like I was special, cuz I was special.
~*~
I should hav learned by now that people never change, no matter how much i want them to
.Em. |
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.hello fellow people.
wutz a happenin?
so the weeked was ehhh ok
andy was gone at olivet thurs and fri
didnt do much those days
some parts were realy fun tho
...lyk watchin the races on fri & crammin that lil kid into the trunk of my car who looked lyk he was only 14 but he really was 17
...kimmie, jacjac attack, & mee went 2 c perfect man it was soo fuckin crazy cause we went crazi in the theater and that crazi car dancin was deff a blast
...& it was deff fun keepin the secret from kimmie. haha.
so yea.but newayz.
oyesm
so
i had two soccer game yesterday
WITH NO SUBSTITUTES
omg i felt lyk i was gonna fuckin die
we won the first won and lost the second
and we had another game again today and we won that one
so it was good
but im sooo tired rite now... ive had about 8 hours of sleep all weekend and i been so busy and yea. im really hungry too. im kinda crabby rite now so i think ill go take a nap so that i dont take my anger out on ne one.
ugh
i hav hw too
AHH (pulls hair)
.EmiE is OUT.My moood!:  so incredibly tired! |
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1 year
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Jun. 16th, 2005 @ 01:24 pm
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so yea... about one year ago i met er body... so i decided to write some stuff bout er thing that has happened... if this doesnt concern u, dont read it cause u wont understand and think its boring as hell... it should be all in order according to time... sry its so long...
no one talked to me
beer bongs
bacardi 151
passed out on the floor
sneaking out
cigarettes
perfect drunk driver
pictures of my ass
~*~
late night car rides
i thought u were cute
mikes hard limonades
sox fan
pixie sticks & jolly ranchers
sittin at the table
chats with the mom
i was the only girl
yes i have a bf
u hated me just because
ur on cross country?
i wanted u
i liked u
i got u
no more bf haha
we became friends while drunk
~*~
tippy cup
passed out on top of me
eww the sink
the celings on fire
the mirror broke
more late night outs
el burrito
chillin in the jewel parking lot
cant go outside
fights at the house
i met u
~*~
i thought u were kewl
we hung out
u were my best friend
bread needed
too much alcohol
i was a part of it all
mini fridge
summer almost over
id stay out all night
always wit the boys
the shit talk
nigger lip
prank phone calls
~*~
sneak out to be wit u
chillen at the park
too many cigarettes
we'll quit at 23
holding out for a hero
driving around
water bed
school starts
~*~
football game
pot
alot of pot
sunglasses needed
the crazy car
open the window
ditching of school
more parties
too many parties
hotel party
no more allowed
~*~
chain smoker
always menthol needed
i bought them!
late night denny's
the all MEXICAN slam
surgery
crutches
homecomming
should have gone
didnt have the courage to ask him
the fight on the phone
i missed ya
~*~
something happened
~*~
people started to fight
about stupid shit
no more group
things began to break
~*~
supose to help u study
never helped u study
ink at halloween
no candy?
pot in the toliet
started to hang wit u
met the group in the wendys lot
hot cars
u were lucky
i was too
he was creepy
found one
~*~
outrageous parties
no more pot
barcardi lemon
face first in the parking lot
sleepin over
home at 8 am
drunk on sundays
drunk er day
too much fun
~*~
something else happened
i started to not feel good
~*~
lies
pretend
school
no makeup
18-hr naps
blood tests
fights
more blood tests
kicked out
tears
lies
i was washed up
burn out
~*~
hung wit u again
i fucked shit up
didnt realize
lost my 2 best friends
~*~
start of soccer
huge fight
spit
hoffman
shit went bad
fast
~*~
te amo
my new best friend
flowers on valentines
happy faces
no longer friends
something more
good friday
~*~
met u
thought u needed a friend
i needed a friends
best friends
hated lunch
i have sumtin in common
pizza and ranch
new purses
bd study hall
.this all leads up to about marchish. it pretty well complete. emie is out. |
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So.
there was a fire in the IC building last nite.
COD got closed today. hooray.
NO SCHOOL>>> thank god cause i def didnt do my poli sci hw.
well ne wayz...
the agenda 4 todayy.
.hmmm.
.oyessm.
now i remember
cleanin the car. it deff needs to be cleaned
goin to meet andy at wurk so i can have lunch wit him
then i dunno
oyea
i have soccer practice tonite and i got a tornament this weekend at rockford so if ne one wuld lyk to come and watch one of my games... (cough) andy (cough)or ne one else. jus let me kno cause that would rock.
.E to the M is out.My moood!:  kinda tired |
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Sry Stevo... i stole this from ya... it fit the time perfectly
yOu qet intO the biqqest fiqht with the peOple yOu care abOut mOst because thOse are the friendships yOu`re willinq tO fiqht fOr
jus a thought... |
| » SURVEEYYY |
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I was bored so i did this survey...
Seven Deadly Sins Survey
Anger
1. Who did you last get angry with? matt
2. What is your weapon of choice? my fist
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? yes
4. How about of the same sex? fuck yeah
5. Who's the last person that got really angry with you? prolly matt
6. What is your pet peeve? people tapping, pen clicking, people who u dont like talking about other people that you hate really loudly so that you hear them, & of course LYING
7. Do you keep grudges? yeah i do but ill eventually get over it
Sloth
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? take my meds
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? prolly like 3 in da afternoon
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Liv
4. What is the last lame excuse you made: i have to watch my sister
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?: yup... i dunno y tho... LOL
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?: ha... lyk 3 hours ago... haha bitches i ran 5 miles. em's not lazy no more
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?: none cause i didnt use an alarm
Gluttony
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?: um... i dunno?
2. Meat eaters: well that made no sense...
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?: haha... wow... it had to be the time i drank so much i fell on my face in a parkinglot... i think i had lyk 15 shots or so...
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?: no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? yea... weneva people bring the shit up
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? salty
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"?: what kind of a sick bastard made this thing up?
Lust
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?: a good amount
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family?): ehhh... a few more than a few
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?: yeah who doesn't?
4. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender during a normal conversation?: a few times... i was prolly jealose
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?: eyes and ass
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?: nope
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?: nope
Greed
1. How many credit cards do you own? one
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? ehhh... coach, gucci, or steve madden (gotta luv shoes)
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?: i dunno... hmmm... buy a bar???
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?: fuckin... id wanna b rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? hmmm...i can find ways to make things fun...
6. Have you ever stolen anything?: yeah...pssh
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?: hundreds upon hundreds
Pride
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? wow... i have this one story but it would take lyk two pages to write...
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? i dont quit...
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?: be a sucessfull lawyer and be married b married before im lyk 25
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? yea... it suxs
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? yea... wuts wrong wit that? lol
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? fuck yeah!
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? worked out
Envy
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? hmmm... i want jimmy's car
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? i dont watch that show
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? micha barton and live in the oc... but instead of choosing ryan, id choose seth
4. Have you ever been cheated on? If so, by whom?: yea... it sux... dont wanna name names cause it was way too fuckin long ago
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? bigger fuckin boobs
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? i dunooo? wut the hell does that mean?
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?: nope
What is your favorite deadly sin? lust
>>EMIE<<
Jun. 13th, 2005 @ 05:26 pm
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| » RaNd0mm?? |
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.Pe0ple are _ strange. _-_-When
u
Ar e _ a _____ straNg er..
F
..aces l00 k UGLyy_ wen
u _______r
_____al on3
pe0 ple .se em. wicK
. ed
wen u ~~~~*~~~ a r e unWantED
//the street s seem- empt
. y
/wen///
- u R _ D
......___ o
......___ w
......___ n
MORAL OF THE LYRICS>>> WE SHOULD ALL TRY TO GET ALONG
Sorry, got bored, wanted to kill time.
.EmiE.
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 12:38 am
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| » 2 more days |
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so yea...
i kinda jus wish i was home sleepin in my bed... cause all this rocking bac an forth is gettin me super sick.
blah
today we couldnt dock at Grand Cayman cause it was too dangerous to get off the ship...
suprisingly for being inside the whole day, i still was able to keep myself entertained. HAHA!
so yea,
ooo...
so 2 days ago i got 2 swim with dolphins.
so fuckin crazy.
i have this neat ass picture ill try to put up wen im bac
hope yall r havin fun. hope the weather bac at home is better than wut we got here.
PEACE
Jun. 10th, 2005 @ 09:11 pm
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| » Uh-Oh |
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UH-OH...
.Huricane.
THIS AINT GONNA BE GOOD
ALL THE DECKS R CLOSED OFF RITE NOW...
>Great<
.EMIE.
Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 07:35 pm
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| » phone home |
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MY CELL PHONE STILL DOESNT WORK>!>!>!
BOOOO!
.Emie.
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 08:54 pm
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| » Fun in DA sun. MUAH! |
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Haha... this cruise is soo fuckin phat... im bored rite now cause the boat is ready to Set sail for Cozumel tomorrw... and the sun went away... BOOOOO!!!!!!
so yea...
the last 2 days have hardcore rocked... met so many fuckin kewl people... no body my age tho {sighs} This one chica ive been talkin talkin to is this girl Addie, shes from alabama... My new tannin buddy! haha. But no body my age... there all lyke 19ish or 15/16ish... o well.
Then i met some guy and his sister from denver, trevor and claudia, on my kayak excursion. Trevor is only fifteen but hes really cool. well he helped me back into my kayak yesterday and helped me paddle for a while cause i couldnt finish the enitre eight miles. haha... So FUNNY...
So my dad decided that a kayak excursion would be fun... WRONG. when we got on the river in Belize we were told that we were gonna have to paddle up eight miles... in a lake that had a lot of Crocidiles... And my stupid ass self... Fell over. It was so fuckin crazy. It was scary and fun at the same time. so yea thas the story.
so many other stories ill tell all yall later...
.E is outta here.
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 04:53 pm
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| » So wow... |
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so much happened...
to long to write...
i am never going kayaking again!!!
haha.
all i can say is wow...
my cell still doesnt work. booooo.
I miss ya Andy
>EmiE
Jun. 7th, 2005 @ 08:49 pm
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| » HOLA CHICOS!!! |
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so im jus waitin for the cruise to set sail in a lil bit...
yesterday rocked in Miami!!! South Beach is sooo fuckin kewl. JacJAc u wuld luv it here!!! So many places to shop.
Well yes, ne wayz,
its really nice... lyk 80 and sunny
tomorrow were at sea all day
then the next dayy were gona be in belise.
SO omg...
i just hav to say...
So much fuckin alcohol in miami and an astounding amount on the boat.
We stayed at this hotel in south beach and lyk we went out to the pool and er body was drink. The waiter handed me a fuckin drink list. I didnt drink tho. I promised myself i wasnt goin to so im not.
Best way to go i think so yea
Hope all yall are havin fun at home...
commentt so i see how er thing is at home.
ill prolly update wen i get in belise
HuggZ & KisS3s
.Emie.
Jun. 5th, 2005 @ 10:14 pm
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| » Wow... |
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So yea wow...
seems lyk i havent updated in lyk eva.
lemme jus catch all yall up...
*prom kicked ass* andy was soo much fun ta go wit... ahhh... man... crazy dancin
finals sucked... im not gonna go into details... LOL lets jus leave it at that
um last day of school kinda sad... tear.
went to andy's graduation wit his family-- i almost started to cry
i leave tommorw 4 my cruise 4 mexico-- woot woot
but also tear... bc im gonna be missin my andy for 8 day {sniffle}
ill try to update while im on the cruise
but im not sure
HuGGz & kiSS3s
>Emie
Jun. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:26 pm
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| » .Wait. .One. .MorE. .Thingy. .2. .add. .too. .wut. .i. .sed. .before. |
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ONE MORE THING TO ADD...
My love is true
music and you
easy too see
listen to me
moving along
singing a song
playin for me
as much as you need
lost in this grove
the speakers go boom
this is my dj
give me my dj
this is my dj
this is my dj
dont take him from me
::Excited 4 prom::
May. 25th, 2005 @ 08:43 pm
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13x_emie_x13's journal